Who's Got A Match
by PatrinePtn
Summary: Of course, Shadow was pissed after finding out his and Wednesday's role in Laura's death, and, of course, Wednesday didn't care about it. Why else would he be taking them somewhere sacred for Mad Sweeney?


Late one-shot written for Smutober. Prompt: Sex Under The Stars.

* * *

 **Who's Got A Match**

Of course, Shadow was pissed after finding out his and Wednesday's role in Laura's death, and, of course, Wednesday didn't give two fucks about it.

"I didn't make your wife fuck with your best friend," Odin said. "She was only supposed to die, not to die with Robbie's dick in her mouth."

Laura growled. Shadow struggled to stop her from going on Wednesday. No matter what, the fucker husband still had a deal with the old God and one of his duties was to protect him from any harm, even if it was well deserved, even from his own wife.

Sweeney was more concerned about the fact his coin was getting further out of his reach. At this rate, the dead wife would stubbornly hold onto her half-life and take longer than he could wait to give it back to him. He was short on options of what to do.

"Mad Sweeney," called Wednesday, "I'm impressed that you hadn't taken Ms Moon to Her in the first place." Sweeney clenched his jaw at his words. "In fact, we can all go together on a merry road trip. It was already on my plans to visit Her on my way to Wisconsin."

"Don't even fucking think about it." He straightened his back, emphasizing the difference in their height. "You are not going to drag her to this bullshit."

"I think the decision should come from her, not you, Suibhne. Shall we, Shadow, Laura? If we go now we will be there before the sunset."

Why no one ever listens to him?

* * *

Sweeney said nothing as Betty carried them down the road. Laura gave up asking him where were they going as Sweeney sweetly ignored her requests and started asking Wednesday instead.

"One of the most important places in America. A holy land, to be precise. It is a resort for an old wolf like me."

"Who is she? And how can "She" help me?"

"She can't," grunted Sweeney, "you are a lost case of cunt-ness."

Laura went to grab this balls again and give him a replay of pure and raw pain when Wednesday stopped her.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." At Laura's questioning glare, he added, "You can't expect to win a child's sympathy when you had just broken their toy, can you?"

"Fuck off, Grimnir. You don't know her, don't talk as if you are friends."

"As you can see, Mrs Moon, our Sweeney is quite possessive of his friend."

Sweeney only gave them the offending finger, more interested in the road than on their chit-chat.

* * *

Wednesday told Shadow to park in front of a gate where a handsome red-haired young man sat on the ground with a roll-up between his fingers. He had piercing green eyes that bore into one's souls and slightly tanned skin. He stood up as soon as they got out of the car.

"Kicked out mommy's house?" Teased Sweeney.

"Oh, if it's not the Irish douchebag and the one-eyed bastard." He hit his joint. "Came here to fix whatever shit you did with the land? Mom is not happy that she had to hurry to save her crops."

"I apologise for such inconvenience, Mr Higurashi, but you can be sure she does not have to worry about it. I only require to have a word with Miss Kagome, but Mrs Laura here might need her help."

Shippou frowned and sniffed the air. "If this stench of death is coming from her then she needs a fucking necromancer, not my Mom."

"Who do you think you are talking to, dickhead?" Said Laura.

"Any human that cannot hold their own deaths is a piece of shit in my opinion. No exceptions, zombie."

"Calm down, kiddo," said Sweeney, "you don't know all the facts."

"Do I look like I fucking care? You bring a fucking rotting corpse to my house-"

"It's not your house."

"It's my fucking mother's house, you motherfucker piece of shit, therefore it's my fucking house and you dare to taint it with this, this thing." He huffed and grabbed the joint Sweeney kept on his ear. "You know? Fuck it. Whatever. Go to the living room, you know the way. I'll tell her you are here."

"Thank you, gentleman," said Wednesday. Shippou gave him the finger as he walked to the backyard. "What a lovely boy, picked your better traits, Sweeney."

Sweeney rolled his eyes and lit a cigarette, refusing to acknowledge Odin's statement. He hates the fact that he agrees with Shippou and hated himself even more for bringing those three with him.

* * *

In long strides, they quickly got to the main house. The scent of green tea hit him first, followed by the perfume of the flowers sitting under the windows. The acres of wood that surrounded the farm fit the scenario perfectly. For a moment, Sweeney wished to have wings again to join the chirping birds outside.

Wednesday, Shadow and Laura took the couch while Sweeney stood by the window, taking in the familiar sight.

It didn't take long for a woman of short stature, wavy black hair and deep blue eyes to come to the room. Barefoot, she was dressed in a cropped top and denim shorts. Legs that had always enticed him; hips that swung in a sinful way; round, perky breasts that fit perfectly around his big hands. Why couldn't the trio suddenly vanish and leave him the hell alone?

Sweeney almost dropped his roll-up when she raised her arms to put her hair in a bun, baring her neck as an invitation. He gulped and threw his joint through the window. The leprechaun straightened his back as Wednesday, Shadow and Laura stood to meet the woman.

"Someone could've warned me I was going to have guests today," she said. Sweeney rolled his eyes. "Grimnir, the Allfather, it's always a pleasure. May I have the honour of knowing the names of your companions today?"

Wednesday took her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it, a small pleasantry only to piss Sweeney off. He then proceeded with the introductions.

"I would like to have a word with you later, in private, but first, this is Shadow Moon, my man, and Laura Moon, his wife, the one who needs your help."

Kagome analyzed the couple from head to toes, thinking in silence for a few seconds before speaking again. "I'm sure this is a tale that will be better told at a dinner table. Grimnir, if you would, take Laura and Shadow to the dining room. Sweeney can help me in the kitchen, right?"

He walked a couple steps behind her, ignoring the smug smirk on Laura's face, focusing instead on the sashaying hips in front of him. He licked his lips, thinking about all the things he wanted to do at that exact moment and none included serving dinner for a band of motherfucker cockblockers. However, if Kagome's heavy steps were any indication, he wouldn't have his fun anytime soon.

As soon as they crossed the corridor, Kagome closed the door behind her and crossed her arms. She looked up to meet him straight in the eyes.

"You have three sentences to explain why that dead woman has your coin, and I better like the explanation."

Fuck, why did his cock have to jerk at her angry tone? As if the way her arms hugged her breasts, making them even more tempting, wasn't enough to make him pant.

"It was a mistake. I accidentally gave it to Shadow and the fucker gave it to his dead wife."

"Let me guess. And her death has everything to do with Odin but you did the dirty job for him?"

"That's a very shortened version but yeah, lass, that's it."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Yes, I do, but I'd like to listen to that poor excuse of yours once again. Surely it will make sense in the hundredth time you tell me."

Furious, he stormed towards her and caged Kagome against the door with his arms.

"You are such a bitch."

"Maybe that is why I love doggy."

She shrieked when he picked her up by the thighs, quickly placing her legs around his waist in a practised motion. He used his weight to hold her against the wooden door as his hands roamed through her body, stopping at the spots that would make her shiver. She grabbed his hair and led him to a kiss.

The kiss was more of a battle for dominance than a tender moment. It was rough, wild, raw, and not resumed to their mouths. He rubbed his bulging groin against her warm core, she hissed on his mouth, grinding back on him.

Kagome yanked his hair, yet he didn't let go of her lips, deepening the kiss instead. Her blunt nails scratched his back and scalp. He moaned, the pain only increasing his arousal. Her thighs pulled him as close as possible, her hardened nipples poking on his chest-

"For fuck's sake, get a room! People eat here, I eat here!" complained Shippou as he came from the back door. "There are people just down the hall!"

"I wouldn't expect for a fox to be so prude, lad," said Sweeney as he helped Kagome down.

"Prude?! If not wanting to see my mother banging in the kitchen, then yeah, I'm a fucking prude, and you are literally a motherfucker."

"Language!" Warned Kagome.

"Sorry, mom! Can you just not fuck IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN? Please? I don't want my food to reek of sex for days."

This time Kagome blushed. "I'm sorry, baby! I completely forgot about your nose." She untangled herself from Sweeney and marched to the set the meal. Sweeney, however, grabbed her hand before she could get too far and placed a gold coin on her palm.

"You don't have to waste your prayers on this leprechaun."

She smiled softly and put the coin in her pocket. "Someone has to."

* * *

And you want to be alive again. Why? I can't feel the raw need to live in you. All I see is that you find it unfair that your life ended so soon," said Kagome as they finished dinner.

"But Shadow-"

"You need to have a selfish reason to be alive. Something that isn't about your husband, family or anything else but yourself. You can't live for someone else. Use this night to think and tell me in the morning. There are towels and some spare clothes for you, Laura. Shippou will show you your rooms."

"I don't sleep. Not anymore."

"Even better, more time to figure out your motivations." She turned to Wednesday. "I have to tend the cattle now. If you don't mind, we will talk in the morning too."

"Absolutely not, my dear, and thank you for the lamb. If there were more like you in this barren land, we wouldn't be in this situation. Well, have a wonderful time." His glass-eye shifted quickly to Sweeney then back to Kagome. "Tending to the cattle."

* * *

Sweeney found Kagome as she left the barn. So late in the night, there was no electrical lamp turned on, the moon the only light in the field. There were no cities in a few miles radius making the stars shine like dozens of millions of Christmas lights. It would be absolutely breathtaking if Sweeney bothered to pay attention to it, except he had much more urgent matters to care at that moment.

The spring night was uncharacteristically hot, probably for Ostara's doing, and if a Kagome as enough to turn him on, a sweaty Kagome made his cock twitch in anticipation. Her bangs were glued to her forehead and strands of hair stuck on the back of her neck. Beads of sweat ran down her lower back, disappearing into her shorts.

"Take a picture, it will last longer," she said.

"I'd much rather take something else." He closed the distance between them. "These lips, for instance."

Sweeney claimed her lips, his strong arms enough to lift her to his height. She dropped the tools she was holding and draped her arms around his neck. Her legs easily found their way to his waist, her feet crossing behind his back. The battle for dominance started again, but it mattered little who would lose, both would win in the end.

Once she was securely holding onto him, Sweeney explored her luscious body. His hands slid through her slick body, quickly meeting the ends of her clothing. He lifted the top and unclasped the bra, setting free his favourite pair of twins. Carefully, he knelt down and laid Kagome on the ground, finally having the sight of her body under the night light. It's been barely a week since he left to run errands for Odin, but, after everything, it felt more like a whole year.

He pulled down her legs the shorts and undergarments at once. He grinned as she bit her lips at seeing him divesting his own clothes. The shirt was gone in seconds, the belt was unbuckled in record time and the pants kicked off right after.

One of the things he loved about Kagome was that she not only didn't mind but actually liked having sex outside. In the forest, in the meadow, in her backyard, wherever she felt like it and he wasn't one to deny a female's desire. Having Mother Nature as a witness made his more primal side to emerge.

He gave a chaste kiss on her mouth before descending to her neck. She shivered when he nibbled the junction of her shoulder, a loud moan came from her mouth. Sweeney proceeded his sexual attack on her bosom, licking and sucking a hard nipple while his finger cared for its pair. He pinched her rosy bud and she arched her back, whispering his name to the wind. With his cock, he teased her sex, the tip pressing her entrance only enough to part her lips and she swung her hips to meet his movements.

"No no, I recall said they like the doggy."

Kagome opened her mouth to protest but was silenced as he turned her around and buried his mouth in her dripping core. She mewed as he feasted on her juices, his tongue swirling inside her dripping wet cavern. She almost growled when his thumb met her clit, her slickness increasing at every combined strike of his hand and tongue.

She trembled as she was almost reaching her peak and Sweeney knew it was time for his shaft to join the party. In a single thrust, he entered her up to the hilt. He pulled back until only the head was still inside and thrust again. He placed his hand on her hips to keep her in place as his much bigger and stronger body rocked back and forth. Soon, Kagome met his rhythm and they started the old mating dance.

Sweeney covered her body with his, placing both kisses and nicks on her back. Her moans got louder when his index started teasing her back button. He caressed the tight ring until she relaxed enough for him to insert it. He inserted in up to the first knuckle and started pumping.

Kagome reached her peak with a cry. Her inner muscles clamped around his cock, bringing Sweeney to his own completion and his cum joined the juices that soaked their thighs. The leprechaun gave few more thrusts before pulling out completely and falling on the grass, bringing Kagome to lay on his chest.

A couple of minutes passed with the chirping of the crickets being the only sound other than their own breathing.

"I'm glad you are home."

"Not for long, love."

She snorted. "House on the Rock. That's what Grimnir wants to talk about, right? Sounds like I'm heading to Wisconsin."

"Fuck, no. Don't get yourself into Grimnir's stupid shit. Don't you see what happened with the dead wife?"

"I have my back covered. And you need someone to stop you from doing something stupid, like getting yourself killed."

"What are you-"

"You don't fool me, Buile Suibhne. You are not going alone."

"Fuck, woman, you are impossible."

"You said that two hundred years ago, but back then it was before he had sex, not after." She picked the gold coin from her discarded shorts and held it between her fingers. It started to shine, glowing like the moon itself. "Will you stop whining now? It's been a week, I'm fucking horny."

Sweeney picked the coin and grinned. 'I'm a lucky bastard'. With a sweep of his fingers, it disappeared. "As you wish, ma'am."

* * *

Back in the main house, a fox youkai growled, covering his ears as he tried to light a cigarette. The windows of his room were closed, covered with cardboard and styrofoam.

"Damn ears, damn nose, damn mom and her fuckleprechaun. **WHY DO THEY ALWAYS DO IT RIGHT OUTSIDE MY FUCKING WINDOW**?!"

* * *

 _Because I'm not dead yet._


End file.
